SOLACE

 ...

Where is solace to be found 

during long summer cries

and short winter laughs?

Is it in the blindness of the sun rays, 

or among snowflakes eager to melt?

Perhaps in forgotten lyrics, 

or even in boring memorized speeches,

among calmness hidden in the oceans, 

or in between the answers buried in the ground?

Could it be found behind the door 

that lead inside the closets of our souls 

so desperate to be discovered 

and waiting to be unlocked?

Do we look for solace to give us comfort,

to stop our shivers and dry our tears,

to fall asleep next to us, 

to breathe and dream among us?

Where could solace be found 

and why can’t we see it 

within the stone walls 

of our own beings 

and rusty cages 

of our painful survival?

In the dark corners 

of what we are,

or what we desire to be.

In our lucid dreams 

that keep us awake.

Is it hiding in scripted messages,

or bizarre conclusions ?

And while we keep running in circles 

looking for it to find us,

we know all along 

it is right here

around the corner.

...

"...And

As

Your

Lips

Navigated

And

Traveled

Down

My

Neck

Rolling

Like

Raindrops

Down

The

Window

Pane

I

Longed

To 

Quench

Your thirst

For

Belonging

While

You

Traveled

Through

And

Around

And

Over

And

Under

My 

Steep

Streets

Disappearing

Into

Depths 

Of

What

Was

Us

You

Belonged..."

...

The

clouds

cried

along 

the 

horizon.

Their

beauty

died

as the sun 

went down.

It was raining.

Hard.

...

...

The

chairs

were

stacked

up

against

all

odds.

...

...

I woke up at 7

You were not there

We had a moment

I went back to sleep

...

...

I want to

dream our dreams

once again

through the darkness

of awakening shadows

with the wind chimes

making music

and rain dancing around us.

I want to

feel our dreams

once again

through the blistering heat

of my summers

and bitter cold

of your winters

looking over the seasons

that could have been

for us.

I want to

live our dreams

that we have imagined

and not listen

to your magic tales

crawling out and over

your forked tongue,

pale lips and fake smile.

I want to

remember our dreams,

so I take notes

that scream

through the emptiness

of blank pages

full of nothings

written with the broken pencil.

And instead of dreaming

I suddenly wake up.

I listen

and I hear

your pulse that bleeds

in the rhythm of my breaths

as I run faster

back into the nightmare.

I walk outside

and let blood red rain

wash my tears away.

As I long for your pulse

only to hear my screams,

only to feel your silence.

...

...

Let me indulge in

Your madness

Dance me

Into the scriptures

Of your demons

Let me feel you

Scream inside of me

Have you cry within

What I used to be

Let your pain and sorrow

Free to fly away

Above the shaken ground

And into the endless sky

Pour your anger

Into my empty glass

And watch me drink it

As you stare into my eyes

When will this end

Or did it even start

This slow and ugly race

To kill my broken heart

Do you truly not see

How insane this is

Your desire to punish

The soul inside of me

Like an old wet dog

I slowly bow down

You’ve got all your tricks

But not the shiny crown

...

...

Drink from my memories

Feel the thirst for my wine

Let your curious fingers

Travel down my spine

Find those many treasures

Hiding inside my soul

For you will be forever rich

And you will feel whole again

Turn on my forgotten smile

And feel desire for my lips

Have your long hungry fingers

Trace along my every curve

Sing inside your beautiful self

Be the rhythm of who we are

Play piano on my back

Let my body be your guide

Tell me the story of beautiful us

Gently whisper it to me

Who did we become together?

And what more can we still be

Flood me with your breaths of life

Show me how you cherish it all

Grateful for what you have

Wishing for just a little bit more

I’ll swim in your oceans

And ride your breaking waves

Can you hear me gasp for air

As I drown in your tales

...

...

What if

Sky turned green

And grew branches

Gnarled from an old age

From knowing too much

Or knowing nothing at all

What if

Rivers swam upstream

Getting lost in their waves

In the deafening sounds

Of an uphill battle

What if

Rain stopped half way

Over a canyon

Bathing in the sun

Burned

While looking above

What if

Clouds walked with us

While crossing streets

Turning dark corners

Stepping on a chewing gum

What if

Fate finds its way to us

In sight of all

Crying

Begging

Wanting

Demanding

Of poor us

To gather together

To glean insight

To give all

What if

I say I love

All there was

All there is

And all that can still

Be

What if

...

...

Watch me

Dance

And lie to me

How you want 

To see more

Indulge!

Whisper to me

Sweetness of your own truths

Or masterpiece that is

Bitterness of your life

Feast on your own

Sweet lies that go beyond

My mind

And around 

My back

Twirling like a wind

Around my presence

Like shadows

On a sunny

But dark, cold

And gloomy day

Tell me

Something I don’t know

Tell me I’m yours

Make me believe

In fantasy of you

Really?

Try to believe in

Your desperate self first

Teach yourself

The virtue of senses

While placing

Blindfolds on my vision

Sing to me

How this is

Supposed to feel

And

Allow me to

Reach deep

Into vast emptiness

Of your love

And while you run

Away

I’ll wait

And watch you

Run from yourself

...

...

Why do you

keep taking me

where I don't 

want to be?

...

...

Say goodbye 

to my scarlet heart.

I'm closing the curtain

on your promises

of infinity.

I'm blowing out the candle

on your vow

of forever.

Don't look for me

in the shadows

of yourself.

I will not be there.

I promise.

...